What Doesn't Kill You (Stronger) - Kelly Clarkston

I will pass all my exams. I will pass all my exams. I will pass all my exams.


I hope I pass all my exams.

Honeybee - Blake Shelton

Some one please help. Zero motivation to study = not good = I'm definitely going to regret this later (but at this moment I can't seem to care)

Shake That - Eminem feat. Nate Dogg

Song is a bit more than inappropriate but a something catchy is definitely needed since I'm running on 20 minutes of sleep. The point of this post: I love Cafe con Leche. For everyone who lives in Detroit, it's in Mexicantown on Vernor across from Clark Park. I didn't go here that often last semester as they used to close at 5pm on weekdays (bummer) but I just found out they stay open until 7:30 now! Yay! Such a great atmosphere- plenty of tables, wifi (obviously), friendly patrons and barista, and ridiculously cheap drinks that are of such high quality. As recommended I tried the Chocolate a la Taza, which isn't for some one who doesn't like chocolate, & though it's a little more thick than what I would like it's still delicious. And, as I've just been told, a traditional breakfast drink from Spain. Yeah, I can definitely see myself coming here more.

But that doesn't really matter. You. Visit this place, you'll love it. Anddd back to eavesdropping on the Detroit discussion two strangers are having haha. Oh, & studying. Duh. Psh.

Kaleidoscope - Blink 182

Going on seven hours at the UGL. Staying awake in class tomorrow will be murder but if I have a good idea of the HIV drug classes, adverse effects, side effects, unique characteristics, and therapies/dosing regimens it'll be worth it. Time to get that B on the final. And fit in studying for a midterm the day before. And memorize about 39402893024832 guidelines for an exam two days after. No big.

Don't. Panic. Just. Do.
....AHHHHHHHHHHHH


EDIT: leaving the library at 6am to get ready for class, lolsleep. What is that again? Total time spent studying HIV & vaccines at the library- 11hrs. Definitely am feeling more comfortable so at least it was worthwhile

(If You're Wondering If I Want You To) I Want You To - Weezer

Long name of the song. Anyways, last night was my first time at a club & though it's not really my kind of place, it'd be nice to go every so often. There must be some kind of record I set. Apparently some guy was being super creepy when I was dancing so a friend told him I wanted him to leave. After that I heard him refusing and then when I looked over next another friend was blocking a punch. Bodies in between and shouting ensued. Testosterone. Sigh. But, nevertheless, thanks guys for looking out for me!

Take Me the Way I Am - Ingrid Michaelson

Dear exam gods,

Although I realize this attempt is more than likely futile, please let me somehow pass my exam in less than an hour. In payment, I offer my first child. Just kidding, but really, if you could help me out I'd appreciate it.

Jo

Just the Way You Are - Billy Joel

Happy VD! I always thought I was so clever in high school for saying that, since it could also stand for venereal diseases. Har har.
Anyways, another successful presentation today despite a sore throat! I don't have stage fright but this class can be somewhat intimidating because the professor will usually pick apart at any statement if he sees a weakness in it. However, my group prepared so well and he really only asked basic questions that were already talked about so it was an easy Q&A afterwards. Not that I think you really care about that.

I feel as if today is an obligatory post day. I don't want to rant about how dumb I think Valentine's Day is (especially since now that I'm not in a relationship, I would sound incredibly bitter), but rather how today helped me realize how content I am. Going into this week, I wasn't really sure how I'd take not having a date. For everyone unaware of my dating history, this is the first Valentine that I've been single for since 2006. However, the more I thought about it though, the more I realized that I didn't want a "Valentine". I've finally reached the point of my life that I've always wanted to be at: happy with myself; not needing some one else to be happy. I remember one of my good friends telling me once that to really truly be happy, you first have to achieve this feeling from within before passing it onto others and allowing it to be shared. Back then, I didn't really understand what he meant, I was always laughing and joking around with others, they seemed to enjoy my company and I enjoyed theirs. It really took my last break up to grasp everything. There's been a few bumps, no more than what the average person would expect, but being single is a whole lot more satisfying than I ever thought it would be. In a sense, I'm my own Valentine this year, and I love it. I love me and I don't want anyone else. In no way do I feel lonely or sad that there isn't some one to send me flowers, take me out to a nice dinner, or torrent movies while eating Marcus Market pizza on my bed. Such a powerful feeling.

I guess what I'm trying to say is for all the couples out there, I hope it's a great day. For everyone who's going stag (in essence), I hope that you're just as satisfied as I am.

Mad - Neyo

Spring break w/ the best friend is a go! Instead of sunny beaches, we're going for warmish weather, hiking, & cave spelunking. The latter being something I've always wanted to do. I hope it works out because I'm going to be one of the happiest people ever if this trip happens.

For the Nights I Can't Remember - Hedley

Late night thoughts: it's funny how as humans we're so focused on control when our existence is purely based on chance.

Exploring control...
we all are 'wired' (as my dad would say) w/ certain intrinsic traits. Two main ones are reproduction (the media is a key example of that) & power. Or so I believe.
Human societies have always been stratified into different levels even though we have different names for it. Though in theory, communism & utopian ideas should work, they always fail. Why? Because at the end of the day, there are the select few that are ambitious & want something more, whether that's a good or bad thing isn't something I want to get into. Going back to my point- humans like having control over other humans. There are examples all around us that we take as norms- having presidents/heads of state, bosses, so on. On a scientific scale (from a healthcare student, did you expect anything less?), genomic sequencing to predict what diseases and conditions we're more likely to. In essence, taking hold of our destiny by knowing what (could) lie ahead. Which, I'm not a fan of but that's another topic.
I'm also throwing out that there are essentially two types of humans in terms of control: those that lead and those who are allowed to be led- though I'm not really sure if the latter is a true group rather than a temporary thing. Which, technically means at some point we're being led & are leading. Circular. Or I'm just too tired to think correctly.

Anyways, on the chance part. There are literally billions of people on the planet. The fact that I exist, that I'm sitting here on my laptop typing this kinda weird blog post, is really lucky. My parents happened to come together out of all the other possible people they could have been with. Furthermore, I was the product of one egg and one sperm. Notably, one sperm. Yes, at the back of my mind I'm saying "ew, gross" too, but bear with me. Even at conception, there were a million other possibilities, a million other 'me's that could be writing this entry. But somehow, I'm here.

Tying this altogether, even when it comes to reproduction we're trying to take control in a sense with genetic engineering- altering our offspring's traits or selecting a zygote to implant, what the parents consider the 'perfect baby'. But, when it really comes down to it, though we as a race are becoming ever more controlling (at least in the healthcare field with more drugs, treatments, and cures coming out for conditions), we really have no say in how we get there. We're at the mercy of our parents. And, especially for me, luck. My parents only wanted two kids and there was one on the way between my brother and I but my mom lost it. So here I am.


The putdown, "you're one load your mom should have swallowed," though somewhat comical and incredibly vulgar, was one of the few things that got me started thinking about this. If you wanted to know, which I'm not sure you did. Now that I probably made this post awkward like I inevitably do....it's time to stop typing & go to bed.

Sexual Healing - Marvin Gaye

Our exam results from last Friday were finally posted & I passed! Yay! Considering that I felt like throwing up for a good part of the exam & I got most questions right that most of the class got wrong, I'm pretty happy with my grade. This is the perfectionist talking, but I don't think I can quite say I'm satisfied. Hopefully that helps me focus for the exam in about a week & a half though.

In other news, there's either a dog whimpering, an intense farting session, or some really awkward sex noises going on upstairs.
Please, just stick singing Glee covers, upstairs neighbor.

I Won't Give Up - Jason Mraz

My last compounding assessment! Making an IV bag prep: this one is normal saline & reconstituted vancomycin.

I've got to say, this was probably the most interesting compounding we had since we worked with both types of flow hoods (laminar and vertical for regular and chemo preps) and did the whole procedure including scrubbing & gowning up. Very cool.

Other than that, I'm going to try to tough out the lack of food I have until the weekend when I work haha. Basically that translates into lots of apples w/ peanut butter and grilled cheese sandwiches.

American Idiot - Greenday

I don't like posting about politics; even less, talking about a specific politician when there isn't a conversation/dialogue going on. However, I think this is post worthy.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxw4uZAezaI&feature=player_embedded
I realize I'm shedding more attention on his ad but I think it's important to see the basis of which I'm speaking from.
Firstly, there are better ways this guy could have gotten this message across.
For him & his supporters dismiss everyone calling the ad racist as ignorant democrats/liberals is something I find more offensive than the broken English and the not quite subtle stereotypical cues in the background (i.e. the gong, rice paddies, dirt road, and straw hat).
It's how ironic he claims to be frugal when he spent millions to get it played during the Superbowl in different regions of Michigan. Moreover, he charged his supporters a 'donation' of $7.50/view (per a local news station reports) to view this commerical before it aired on TV. Oh, can't forget that while he slams a current senator for investing too much money outside of Michigan, this ad was filmed in another state.
Overall poor choice to make this ad and even poorer defense/response to the backlash by some senator hopeful.

I Need a Girl (part 2) - P. Diddy

I'm not really sure what Puff Daddy/P. Diddy/Diddy/etc goes by anymore but Pandora credits him as such above so maybe that's time era appropriate?

Nine hours logged at the med school study tonight. Class in three hours- assessment in about four hours. Haha we'll see how this goes.
I'm not really sure how to put this without coming across as melodramatic...but I really hate it when I catch people in a lie. Really puts a damper on the whole friendship thing, especially since I try to make it clear that I just want an honest (even if it's brutal) answer instead of a classic lame excuse. Maybe I'm not being clear enough.