Last year at this time I was slightly apprehensive about going to pharmacy school- I'd gotten the grades to get in & I was proud of earning the white coat but I wasn't sure if it was the right path for me. Since I didn't have to take the PCAT, I was uncertain if I really deserved to be there. Maybe I wouldn't be in the same spot if I had taken the test, what if they rejected me? More than anything else, would that mean that I would flunk out of the program? Or, if I did get through everything, what kind of career would be best for me? Even during my first year I kept asking myself if this was something I really wanted to do or if I'd be better off in another field. So many things that we learned seemed arbitrary to the kind of work most of us would end up doing & I passively wondered what good some of the material would do me. As a person I was pretty insecure overall about school, my relationships w/ people, & ultimately myself.
In this year I've grown in so many ways, I'm fresh out of my second pharmacy related internship w/ a job offer in my grasp knowing that's where I want to be when I graduate; I know I have what it takes to be successful in pharmacy school if I don't hold myself back. I've also learned to speak my mind during the most important times & let people close to me what's bothering me & why, something I've always struggled w/. Thanks to the help of a very good friend, he helped me think critically not about intellectual topics but myself & how to tune into my emotions & get to the bottom of what I feel at all times. I hit pretty close to rock bottom personally but I've risen as a stronger & happier person. By no means does that mean I'm perfect or that I don't need to continue to make improvements, but I'm more self aware & though many take it for granted, knowing & acknowledging/accepting every aspect of oneself is important & empowering.
Surprisingly, I'm looking forward to classes starting tomorrow. I miss learning as weird as that sounds. Work has been phenomenal but it uses a different part of my brain & I'm ready for the change of pace to go back to insanely crazy. Bring on the fire of P2 year, I was going to write that I hope to make it, but instead I'm going to say I'll see all of you on the other side (: Until then, time to start studying a powerpoint I have to know before class tomorrow & enjoy the last few hours of freedom.
Hmm, three posts in one day. Must be a record of some sorts.
EDIT: This doesn't quite fit in w/ the thinking of this entire post but I'm not making another entry for this. One of my roommate's cats will fart every time he's happy. That's right, not purr. Fart. It stinks. I think I'm destined to be around smelly beings ):
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